Femamanist

Combo word, melding 'feminist' and 'mama'. I think that nothing has made me more aware of being a feminist than becoming a mother. Biology is intense, man! All my firm and solid concepts of woman is equal, woman is oppressed are thrown into the blender by basic biology. I can breastfeed. My partner, god love 'im, cannot. Therefore, it maketh senseth that I stay at home with young Buddha, whilst he worketh. I know lots of wonderful women go right back to work and love it, but I would argue that the body wants to nurture that child. It tells me so daily, and I am struck by how right it feels to be at home with her. Listening to my body has been an important learning curve, and two masters degrees have had no help to offer...

There are stir-crazy days, for sure. Part of me is constantly wondering if I've sold out... and the other day, when lovely partner came home, it was all I could do to hand baby over to him and go for a walk by the sea. Out there, in dark January night, with the driving rain pulsing like sharp nibbles against my cheek, I looked out over the harbour waves, and thought, 'This isn't easy, but I'm glad I'm doing it.'

For so long, I've been identifying myself by and through my work. Now, that mantle has dissolved (or at least it appears as an invisibility cloak) and I get to rewrite who and what I am. That's a magical opportunity.

And I can do it again and again...